Thursday, November 14, 2013

Character Traits Leading to Success/Failure in Love


What character traits lead to success in love? and/or What character traits have you already seen in characters in 12th Night that would lead to success/failure in love? Conversation-style post, 300+ words.

23 comments:

  1. Love clearly lacks a comfortable and favorable seat with the characters in Twelfth Night, mainly due to unfavorable traits these characters display. At the start of the play, we are introduced to Orsino, who alludes to his view of love as something to control. In the opening scene, he sits with a multitude of servants around him, dictating to the pianist how he wants his music, “If music be the food of love, play on . . . Enough, no more, ‘tis not so sweet as it was before” (Shakespeare 1, 8-9). Here, Orsino, perceiving the music as the “food,” or fuel, for love, actively commands for more to be played to intensify the love he feels. This demonstrates his desire to gain control over love, to domesticate love as his own and manipulate it. Hence, Orsino displays qualities harmful for the success of love as two lovers find the most happiness when both of their needs are met: rarely does one wish to be supervised, chained down, and seen as a manipulable object for their love. Moreover, Orsino demonstrates a detachment from his own love as he abruptly calls off the music, responding to the love’s sudden loss of sweetness. This instability reveals that Orsino most likely wouldn’t be able to commit to the relationship he wishes to control. For love to succeed, there needs to be consistency, and although some people welcome quick change for limited time, most of us crave love for a constant source of happiness, satisfaction, and comfort (accordingly, many worry that their partners will change their minds and leave them). Therefore, Orsino displays very selfish qualities in this arena of companionship as he wishes to take charge of and please only himself, and his devotion to love is inconsistent (he only clings to his immediate desires). Love should be equality of connection, power, and happiness, where both participants receive what they need.

    However, Orsino isn’t the only character who demonstrates traits that would majorly harm the chances for a successful and loving relationship. The actions of Viola, a woman of apparent wealth, reveal her preoccupation with money and subsequent lack of concern for humanness, both in herself and in others. When speaking to the Captain, Viola gives him money for saying something favorable: “For saying so, there’s gold” (Shakespeare, 17). Here, Viola’s primary response to happy emotion (hope, in this case) is to pay: she fails to see emotion for a qualifiable instinct of the human mind - a basic and necessary connection - but instead she perceives quantifiable aspects, enforcing a price on her feeling. Lacking the ability to see and associate with others through emotion, Viola demonstrates that she will have difficulty relating to other humans in a loving manner, thus failing in love. Again, we see the importance of the ability to connect and identify with others - to live on the same level as another, with another - to build a powerful and deep emotional bridge between two souls. In this sense, love concerns much more than the individual. It concerns a common work between two individuals, who meld together and find a deep, mindful, and predictable satisfaction through this contact. If people lack the ability to make this connection, for whatever reason, they will suffer in love.

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  2. I agree with Till about why Orsino and Viola would both fail in love by neglecting to form connections with others. They are both similar in the way that they are both preoccupied with something other than the person they love. Orsino is too busy lying to others and to himself about loving Olivia when he is really in love with his emotions. He might even misunderstand his narcissistic love for himself as a selfless love for Olivia. Viola is preoccupied with her newfound task of disguising her true self from someone she wants to fall in love with her.

    Orsino is trapped within his narcissism, and self-importance is not a trait that brings success in love. Love is about giving and not needing to ask for anything in return. In the first scene, it is evident Orisino is only thinking of what Olivia will give to him when she falls in love with him and allows her world to revolve around his egotistic self. This is not what true love is like. Like Till has said, it’s supposed to be a symbiotic relationship where two people establish a strong emotional connection with each other and equally give each other everything they have, asking for nothing in return, but receiving a bottomless well of love from the depths of great generosity. There is only a certain amount of room in someone’s heart. It depends on how giving they are. Orsino is neither generous nor selfless. There isn’t enough room in his infinitesimally microscopic heart for anyone but himself.

    Viola has already failed in love even though she hasn’t even met any of the other key players of the love triangle yet. By not presenting herself as her true identity, she is building all foundations for relationships with people on a lie. Honesty is quite an important quality in a relationship. Some would say ignorance is bliss, but without honesty, the love two people feel for one another would by worthless.

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  3. Dina Kharag
    Trying to obtain the person you love is like being in a labyrinth and not knowing how to get out. In the Game of Love, its easy for a person to get mislead by their feelings and making mistakes with their plans on getting the person to like them back. From experience of watching movies and reading cheesy romance novels, the one trait that a person always has that makes he/she fail is by being blindly in love.Even though sometimes being blindly in love can be cute, it always leads to a person to fail. This is the case because the person who’s in love doesn’t believe in aspects of reality anymore. They start to believe in things like how luck is on their side and anything that happens is still in their favor. However, this can change when more than one person is chasing after a person he/she loves. This then causes difficult competition between the sexes.
    An example of this competition taking place between people can be seen in Shakespeare’s play, Twelfth Night. In the play, Orsino and Sir Andrew makes his own confessions of loving Olivia by presenting how loving Olivia makes them feel. With Orsino, we know from 1.1 how he feels that Olivia makes him feel that love can be overbearing but still worth loving someone. He even compares her to scent of violets to show how passionate about her. However, his arrogance and incompetence presents he’s only selfishly loving Viola. In addition, Sir Andrew’s high self confidence makes him fail because he think blindly that he can win over Olivia’s heart by simply presenting her his dance moves. Most of all, both candidates fail in noticing how Olivia isn’t feeling well due to her brother’s death. This factor will make them surely fail when they’ll make their moves on her: They won’t be able to connect with her personally due to their own selfish agendas.

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  4. As many have said above me, love is in fact a game. No one really knows what exactly it is or what I can be, or as Dina describes it a “labyrinth”. Love can vary on each person, but there are certain traits that either led to success or failure in finding love. I believe that one of the most important traits that lead to success in love is being able to see things for what they are instead of being blinded. One must take things step by step instead of rushing forward; instead one must step back and reflect on what is happening. By seeing things for what they are, one might not waste time or look like a complete fool. I also believe that for success I believe that the key is trust; one needs to rely and depend on a person in which they are in love fully. Deep down there also has to be a connection that makes on truly care another being, it all depends on this care where love can blossom. Lastly respect is what can lead to success in love, one need to appreciate and value the person who they are in love with. I believe that if in love any four of these traits are missing, there is no foundation where love can be built on. Leading to a complete failure in love; where one is constantly disrespected, without trust, lack of connection/compatibility and lastly not being able to see clearly what’s going on around.
    In the Twelfth Night, both Orsino and Viola lack several of these traits. Orsino is a man that is full of himself and therefore is blinded of seeing things how they are. He is “blinded” by love, not being able to see that the loves that he has for her will never exist. Viola is also blinded by not being able to be her true self and instead take in a persona of a male. She is already blinded and cannot take things for what they are. They both do not have respect for themselves or others around them by the way they treat others and how they treat themselves. Both have already failed in love, and they are yet to meet.

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  5. Having success in love is unable to attain without some sort of failure. Perfection is inevitable for everyone and is also true in relationships. People carry many good characteristics that are successful in love but many also have traits that are flawed. Relationships are not always about success. People go through difficult circumstances which allows both people in the relationship to draw closer together is at is difficult to go through something alone. Through failure, people can relate to each other more because they can help each other. Perfection would not allow room for growth in love in the relationship.
    Being successful in love involves sacrifice. As Steffi said, self importance does not associate with being successful in love because there is no room for both people in the relationship. When one person is always focused on themselves, they cannot develop a connection with that person, which results in a failure of attaining love. When two people are in a relationship, they need to mesh both of their lifestyles in order to be successful in love. When combining lifestyles, certain things need to be extracted or put in which takes sacrifice. They learn to think more about the happiness of the other person rather than on themselves.
    Another character trait that leads to success in love is to be teachable. When in a relationship involving sacrifices, people need to learn about what makes the person happy. Whether it is a certain trait or thing that the person likes. Being teachable allows both people in a relationship to see what the other person dislikes which allows for a more deeper bond. Without getting to know each other, how can they be successful in love? Love simply is not a thing, it requires effort and sacrifice.

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  7. The characters in 12th Night so far have distinctive characteristics that may lead to success or failure in love. Orsino is a prime example of someone who may fail. He is self centered, a trait that leads to unease between people and is counterproductive to love. In the very beginning he is listening to music, something that in the time of the play had to be played live. The moment he tires of it he cuts the performer off, thinking only of his own needs. Additionally he speaks of his love interest in regards to how she will love him rather than her as a person. This self centered mindset is detrimental to love because love is a mutualistic relationship that requires equal input from both parties involved. Sir Toby has traits that are a positive influence on love, like being honest in his intentions. This is important in keeping love once it has been found. However, his chances of finding love in the first place are dim because of simple undesirable personality traits, specifically being not all there in the head and being a drunk. To fall in love one must have chemistry, something that may be difficult for him. He annoys Maria greatly because he does not understand her jokes and believes her name to be ‘Accost.’ However, despite his misfortunes has the basis in place to keep love if he finds it. Viola, on the other hand may have a chance. She is shown in the beginning to be a generous, trusting person. The willingness to put effort into others is shown when she gives the Captain gold for telling her what she wants to hear. Then she proceeds to put her trust in him when she disguises herself with his help. This type, or really any kind of trust is important in love because one is putting so much of themselves in the other.

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  8. I believe success in love is achieved through various character traits: patience, understanding, acceptance and honesty. It is through these character traits that one can give and receive love. In addition, I agree with Randy’s argument… “... success in love being able to see things for what they are instead of being blinded”. One should do their very best to be patient with love, and their own emotions, as well as their counterpart’s; and understanding, accepting and honest of their own emotions and other’s as well. If one is blinded by the idea of someone and/or blinded by love, honesty is taken away from them. Though blindness from love is not necessarily something one can control, it is something that can hurt and lead to failure in love. It becomes extremely difficult to sincerely love and be loved if one is unable to recognize the reality of things. From what we have read so far, I have found that each of the former character traits I mentioned and Randy’s argument are all applicable to Orsino. Orsino, as of Act. 1 Scene 3, is a failure at and in love; and he neglects to use the character traits of patience, understanding, acceptance and honesty. Through this, Orsino leads himself to failure in love... Orsino seems to be far from patient in his pursual of the Countess Olivia. And definitely not in understanding or accepting of the idea that he may be blinded by Olivia’s image or the idea of her. He fails to see the reality of the relationship he seeks with Olivia: there is no chance of him and Olivia. Through his oblivion and misunderstanding he fails to be honest with himself. It is his misconception and neglect of patience, understanding, acceptance and honesty lead him to his failure in love.

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  9. I completely agree with Hannah that love isn’t about being successful; it’s more about two people who are able to come together and overcome those imperfections and failures that make us who we are. Not every accepts us for who we are, but when we find someone who does- someone who’s willing to cherish our personality, someone who’s able to see us for who we are- that is part of defining what it means to be successful in love. In addition, that special someone is not only able to see what we’re going through, but is willing to be by our side throughout this journey that we call “life”. That special someone is there when we’re at our best and our weakest- two crucial points in our lives. For one to not have another be at their side in the midst of completing this journey is failure in love.
    I also agree that a relationship requires sacrifice and for one to give in without expecting too much return. When one expects so much return for putting in their time and effort, I believe that this is a failure in love because part of being successful in love is spending your time and effort and sacrificing some of your needs in order to make them happy. Being unselfish and caring is what brings relationships together; someone who will never do anything if they keep expecting the other to do the same isn’t attractive and makes them self centered and greedy. Doing something for someone else at the expense of their own needs and sometimes their interest (ex when a person unwilling does something for another that they don’t necessarily like), it shows that that person is willing to sacrifice anything to make the other happy, and for other, it makes them feel happy and wanted.

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  10. I would have to slightly disagree with what many of the above posts mention, that love is a “game” and a “labrynth.” Love itself is simple, honest, and straightforward. However, it is the people’s expectations and different admirations that make proper love so difficult. Through Shakespear’s characters in Twelfth Night, we can see the character traits that lead to such confusion and inability to in the end, stay with true love. Both Orsino and Viola lack confidence, honesty, and truth, which is why their love continues to boil into a hot mess. In broader terms, neither Orsino nor Viola will be successful as their means of obtaining love are coated with disguises and trickery. I believe that there are two kinds of love, true love, and romantic love, and only true love is reciprocated with love. While the Duke is merely in love with the concept of being in love, Viola on the other hand, is in love with another person. Many people fail to actually connect with another person when it comes to love, falling into the trap that is romanticized by the idea of being loved. Rather than loving the other person, the Duke loves the idea that he has at last reached that elusive state of “love.” Alternatively, Viola loves the person. She cares nothing for the concept and is, in fact, pained by it because it restricts her. Further, she had concerns that he could not love her as a woman, much less as a person. Her anguish comes from the fact that she loves the Duke for who he is, as opposed to what he is. In conclusion, while one character is in love with being in love, the other is in love with a person. Either way, Shakespeare is making a statement about how no matter what type of love you are feeling, neither will be successful if it means hiding your self and your from those you desire.

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  11. There is very little success to being in love or even attempting to be, that’s why, I totally agree with Hannah, about how you can’t succeed without failure. The traits that the characters have help them try to receive this love. Orsnio fails at convincing Olivia to be in love with him, but succeeds at being in love. His traits that they possess are being too confident in themselves that he doesn’t seem to see past of what he wants to understand what others want. Orsino succeeds in trying to be a romantic by trying to persuade the reader and audience that he truly knows what love is, but he only knows how to love himself. Orsino doesn’t understand the concept of how love really works, and that you can’t assume or decide that someone will love you. He wants to believe that everyone will like him and that they should. What’s interesting about Orsino’s and Olivia’s relationship is that Orsino thinks that Olivia can love him, even though they have never really met. He is actually kind of creepy. He loves someone who he doesn’t know that well, which shows he knows nothing at all about love.
    The relationship between Viola and the Captain is different because the Captain saved Viola and was a passenger on his ship, she thanked him with complements. The issue with their relationship is that Viola is kind of using the Captain, because every complement she gives him, he will do anything for her. The trait that Viola has is manipulation, so she can succeed in making sure that the Captain will love her or respect her enough to do help her.
    All the characters lack the understanding of what love really is, and that it is shown through their characteristics. They each want something else that doesn’t really involve love. They use what they think is love, to feel needed or to get want they want. It makes them unsuccessful at love, but successful at getting what they want through the manipulation of love.

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  12. I agree with Randy and Olivia in that the most important traits to be successful in love are understanding the other person and connecting with the other person. It’s essential to be with someone who understands you, who sees you. To be successful in love, it’s important to be there for the other person. You have to support them and you have to push them to be a better them. A basic human need is to feel connected to someone. We can't wander through life by ourselves. We need another person to see us and to understand us and tell us that we are enough. Another essential trait is to be open; with the other person and open to the idea of love. Even though it’s scary, it’s important to be open with the other person. That raw vulnerability that you expose to the other person is terrifying but is so good. You open up everything to them. By letting in the the other person, they are there for you, they reassure you that you are worthy and are alright. A person can't just be closed off, it'll repel all the good that can come in your life, like love. Another important thing is too not do too much. You can't be too distant or too clingy. It’s important to be independent but it is also important to show that the other person is needed and that they are close to you.

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  13. I believe that in Twelfth Night, Shakespeare is portraying the multiple ways in which an individual can fail in love. After gaining context on the play, the reader learns that Shakespeare has created a love triangle. Within love triangles, the flaws of each individual are exhibited and prevent success in love. Orsino is initially described as the “day-dreaming” Duke. Being part of the upper class, Orsino has probably been born into his wealth. His flaw in love could be within his perception of reality. Listening to his monologue in the beginning of the play, it seems that Orsino is not ready to take on the serious commitment of love. Orsino commands his servants to bid to his will, but a loving husband must adhere to the wishes of his partner. Orsino has to realize that two individuals in love are equal on ground. One should not dominate over the other. One could foreshadow that conflict within the play could sprout from the dominating demeanor of Orsino.
    This connects to our modern world as the audience can see that the commitment of love requires certain characteristics. Love is expression of the most intimate bond between two individuals. Failure in love comes from the disregard of or inability to maintain the bond. However, there is no set personality or formula that will always succeed in attaining love. Every person in this world must be patient, and search for the appealing, fundamental qualities within a person that they love. Similar to what my other classmates said in their posts above, a piece of love is about learning through failure. The relationship one has with another person will never be perfect. The closer you get to an individual, more conflicts arise. Love is also about assessing these conflictions and proposing a solution that allows the two individuals to harmoniously continue loving.

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  14. I agree with Randy by the fact that love is nothing but a game that everybody would like to win. In games, there are tools and cheat codes that enable you to succeed throughout the games. They do not win the game for you, nor do they guarantee that the end result is what you were expecting. The tools are merely there to help you along the journey and make things just a little earlier. Not everyone knows what cheat codes to use so the journey they take will go on just a little longer. They may not be as quick and skilled as the players with the cheat codes but they will not be entirely unsuccessful. In the same way, it is not impossible for people with the wrong character traits to succeed in love. The right character traits may speed up the process but not having them does not mean that it is entirely hopeless.
    Some of the character traits (or tools) I consider helpful would be the ability to accept people for who they really are and communication skills. Unfortunately, Orsino lacks both tools that may help him in the long run if he ever wants to marry the lovely Olivia. In the beginning of the play, the audience sees Orsino contemplating the value of love and whether he wants it or not. One of his helpers came in and he immediately asked what was going on with Olivia. Valentine answered, “So please my lord, I might not be admitted” meaning that he was not allowed to see Olivia. Because of Olivia’s grief over her dead brother, she will not allow herself to see anyone. Orsino has no way of communicating with her. Another example of Orsino not having the character traits to succeed in love would be how he has a preconception of Olivia and does not know how to accept who she really is. Orsino states, “O, she that hath a heart of fine frame to pay this debt of love but to a brother, how will she love when the rich golden shaft hath killed the flock of all affections else.” In saying this he is creating an image of Olivia in his head. One that would love unconditionally. He refuses to think that the reason Olivia does not want to see him because she does not like him. He does not accept that Olivia is grieving and instead of trying to help her out of it, he continues to dream.

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  15. The most important trait in having success in love is to constantly feed love as if it were a person, in order to keep the relationship timeless. In many cases a couple might initially love each other for various reasons. In the beginning of a loving relationship emotions for one another are high and their bond is strong. But if they don’t continue to feed their relationship with compassion, their relationship will fall apart and they might no longer love each other.
    In order to keep the love timeless one must not get tired of loving. They have to think that year twenty-five is the same as year one. I agree with Kate, Olivia, and Randy in how it’s important to understand, support, and connect with the other person. But you have to keep on doing these things well into the relationship in order to have love. In many cases in a relationship one of the two cheats in the other with a younger person. That’s because the young person offers excitement and a sense of freshness as if the cheater is still on that passionate high which happens in the beginning of most relationships. Many times it’s work or children, which fade their love. A couple has to realize what will be best for their relationship. In the 21century It’s becoming more and more common for couples to not have children, studies have also shown that they our happier than child bearing couples.

    As for Twelfth Night Orsino seems to just be on the “high” of a relationship that hasn’t even occurred. But he’s not thinking of the relationship as a set of two people. Orsino is only looking at his gain from being in a relationship with Olivia and only sees her as an object that would better emphasize him.


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  16. As I have said before, traits that lead to success can vary from person to person, but certain traits always arise (even when they’re not common with some people) when trying to find love. Most people, when meeting someone for the first time, try and give off a good impression of themselves. Common traits that are exhibited during the first meeting are kindness and even shyness, since both people are uncertain how each one is going to react to their true selves, but it’s that subconscious decision to hide their true selves that show the understanding of what traits lead to success. Though this isn’t necessarily a trait, another way to succeed in love, as Randy and Olivia have said, is to have a connection with the other person. To have that connection, you eventually have to open up and show your true self. It takes time, depending on the person, and the connection has to grow until each person understands each other and the fact that they’re in love. In Twelfth Night, Orsino, Duke of Illyria, fails at this on so many levels. He not only does not make the effort to find connection with Olivia, in fact he sends people to show that non existent connection, but he also jumps to “I’m in love with you and that’s that”. He does not give the relationship any time to grow, and because of that, he will not succeed in finding love (from Olivia, of course).

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  17. As both Randy and Olivia have mentioned before, it is evident that the inability to see things clear and through have pushed both Orsino and Viola to the brink of madness. Orsino couldn't be more arrogant and self centered in the first couple scenes. This guy is just so full of himself and worries about no one but himself, he wants his love to be the love of Olivia. However, he is blind to realize that his actions and his being pushes him farther and farther away from Olivia. He is rushing, never patient for what's ahead, simply to worried about today and only today. It shows in the scene from the movie, where he is surrounded by numerous men, just starring at him, pretending to feel what he feels. Not far from him is Viola, who is another person hiding from who she really is. This shows when she decides to disguise her true identity simply to get closer to the one person she wants. She isn't patient, she wants to know her chances with this non existing love of hers.
    So far, both of these characters fail miserably, they need to be much accepting of themselves and actually have courage to lunge themselves towards love

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  18. I agree with Hannah that love is obtained with some sort of failure and that nothing can be perfect. In my opinion, a factor that determines wether you can obtain love from a person or not, is the other person themselves. As we see in 12th night, Orsino wants to obtain Olivia's love, however he is failing at it because Olivia is not in a good situation at the moment, so that affects the result of Orison's struggle to gain Olivia's love because Olivia doesn't want to see anyone or wants anyone to go inside her castle because she is mourning over her brother's death.

    A quality that a person has to have in order to obtain love is to be patient. It takes time to achieve important things in a persons life and a person has to understand that love comes when its the right time and it takes time for a person to fall in love, not everything happens quickly. First you have to get to know the person, In 12th night it is not clear whether Orsino really knows Olivia, it is possible for him to have talked to her a few times but that is not enough for Olivia to have fallen in love with him and Orsino sends his made to Olivia's place to see how she is doing rather than going himself. This shows that Orsino isn't putting much effort in trying to gain Olivia's love, which is something else a person has to do in order to be successful. To put time and effort rather than asking other people to do important things for them. From this, Orsino should know what he is doing wrong and know that he should wait until Olivia is feeling better, rather than keep on trying to rush things, because that would obviously not cause any success in love for him.

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  19. So far there, there have been two attempts at love which have both seemed to have failed. The first between Orsino and Olivia and was miserably dismissed. Orsino’s messenger was not even let into the gates of Olivia’s home, and Orsino was still unaffected by this set back, continuing on this wistful romantic dream. Not being able to see the reality within a situation is a sure path to failure in love. If one is blinded to reality, there is no future for the relationship; there can be no base, or no connection. Like Randy and Hannah mentioned, without this basic connection their can be no relationship to build off from. The relationship might just end up one sided while the other has no idea what is going on. One must remain in reality and to take into account both sides of the relationship, with an equal interest, which is crucial in deciding where love can exist.
    In the third scene, Maria is courted by Sir Andrew, and yet again this courtship does not go very well. Like in the previous situation, it seems to be a one-sided relationship, which means it will go nowhere. Without both sides involved, there can be no successful connection. The issue of finding this link between two people can also be found when two different people are on different levels. Sir Andrew doesn’t seem to understand what Maria is talking about at any time during their interaction, so no bond was formed. Without this basic need, the foundation of their relationship is unstable, which leads to Sir Andrews failure at achieving love. He was also unsuccessful at his attempt to woo Olivia as well; for the same reasons Orsino failed; both due their inability to see with perspective and therefore forming a relationship within their minds, setting up for eventual failure.

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  20. To be able to achieve success in love, one first needs to be able to achieve the trait of patience. I think that this is a good start to succeed in love because a if two people were to build a relationship, they first need to develop a sense of who they, little by little, and then start building stronger with each other. It’s safer to take things in a slower pace rather than rushing in a relationship when both individuals don’t fully get a natural sense of who they are towards each other. Another character trait would be someone who is selfless. A self-absorbed person is usually someone who only cares about their own selfish desires, but a person who is selfless is someone who geuinely really cares about another person and would gladly be with them happily. Don’t just think about yourself, but also think about the person you are with and try to make them happy while making yourself happy as well. If you only think about your own ideas, how would you know what the person you are in a relationship in is also thinking? It’s safe to say that one needs to be selfless in order to build a better connection with one another. Some other character traits that would lead to the success of love would be if a person is honest, encouraging, and kind. For people to be successful in love, honesty is a characteristic that should be able to hold a relationship together. A relationship would not be successful if there were lies and deceit roaming around. A relationship should be partnership of people who are trustworthy with each other - in a position where both people each earn a sense of faith. Encouragement is also a particular trait that would benefit with success because it’s good to be successful with love if someone is able to strengthen each others’ bonds by uplifting their spirits. For example, if someone were to be sad, another person can come in and be that individual who lift’s the spirituality of the person who is unhappy. These are some of the characteristics that lead to the successes in love.

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  21. Love is really quite simple, as Fatima and Hannah said it can only be attained if both people want it. If anything is stopping that, it is simply not to be. Olivia's "mourning" isn't exactly the thing stopping the love in this case, Orsino and Olivia are simply not compatible. If we were to keep reading we would find that Olivia is quite ready to love, simply not a pompous upper-class gentleman such as Orsino.

    I also agree with Rachel, being genuine is extremely important. If one were to hide who they truly are, the other party would be falling in love with a mask, not a person. That is probably the single most important quality, everything else can change from person to person. Some may look for intelligence, others for humor, some for both. The only important thing is, truly, to be yourself. Keeping an act up would be exhausting, and would eventually lead to resentment for falsifying yourself. Selflessness would be another extremely important quality. In order to truly love someone they need to be almost, if not actually, more important to you than yourself. In order to have, "a meaningful relationship with someone special" you need to be able to put other people first. Self obsession prevents you from really seeing the other person, and really falling in love. Most other qualities are interchangeable from person to person, but those should be steadfast, necessities.

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  22. In order for a character to be loved he or she needs multiple positive traits. The some of the things a person needs to have are a good appearance, be practical, and be mysterious. First of all, a person who wants to be loved needs to have a loving appearance. If a person is attractive, other people would be more appealed to him or her. This means that there are always people around that one particular person. This commotion in turn creates a positive field around the3 person. Other people want to be with that person as well. That person will automatically be loved because of the appearance. Take any book or movie, any character that is attractive always gets the most attention and is the most loved. The person also must be practical about life. This person needs to know what they are doing and what the purpose of what they are doing. They need to look like at things realistically not just dream about everything they hope to achieve. They need to be able to apply themselves in certain situations. People like that tend to stand out and be more interesting. Everyone loves those types people and everyone wants to share their lives with them. Their practicality makes them seem trustful and just well-around-person. Finally a person needs to have some mystery to them in order to be loved by others. People who have something to hide could often stand out. They lure other people in close to them because the people want to find out the questions. It is even better when others do not know the complete truth about one's life. They can only include "loveable" fact in their stories. In the end, the mysterious always tend to be more loveable than the strait-out people. These three traits will defiantly help a person to get loved, but the combination of the tree would be perfect.

    A person would most likely be not loved if they do not have any of the three traits mentioned above and if they are not trustworthy and only care about themselves. If a person can't keep secrets and always shares out personal information about others, he or she will not be loved. No one wants to be in love with that kind of person. People want to trust who they share their lives with. Being not trustworthy is the number one thing that works against relationships between people. Also people like when others give them attention to them and help them out. Someone who only cares about him or herself will not do well with others. That person will be disliked in a community. Once again, in any book or movie, a person who is enclosed with themselves is most likely a character with a negative role. If a person has all the wrong traits and lacks all the right ones, they will not be loved by others.

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  23. I think that love primarily hinges on expectation, both with who ones partner is and what feelings they provide.

    Love can be, as Jessica said, simple and cold. I think that all people fit into loose attractiveness classes that can be transcended, but only to a point. If someone is chronically in love with people who are far beyond their physical attractiveness class, they will repeatedly fail at trying to find love. The most successful people in love have realistic expectations, and can accept their partners for who they are.

    Similarly, failure in love often stems from unrealistic expectations on what love will provide. Love isn’t perfect, as people said, and it won’t solve every problem. Believing that the perfect person will come save you is irrational, unrealistic, and leads to inevitable failure in finding love.

    I also agree with Kate that love is about finding a balance in connection. People must hold similar expectations of how close to become. Whenever there’s a relationship where one person is far clingier than the other, love is bound to failure.

    I agree with Ricky that patience is a trait that leads to success. When someone breaks over one ruined relationship, they hurt their chances of finding future positive relationships. Meanwhile, someone who is able to patiently move on in due time, realizing there are others out there, will find love easier.

    Personality is what sustains love; attractiveness can get someone into a relationship easier, but personality is what makes a relationship last. A fundamental flaw in people trying to find love is that they are too self assured, like Orsino, and they aren’t willing to listen to others. People can’t just take in a relationship. To make love work, the is a certain amount of giving, and listening that must take place.

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